Cu-Cu for Cucumbers

Thursday is pickup day, and today I came prepared to be restrained and sedated. I told myself, "Self, if we get one more delivery of kale and squash, I am going to invert every single table in the distribution center, eviscerate the squash, and tear the bug-eaten leaves of kale asunder while reciting the Greek alphabet...backwards."

For the last 3 or 4 weeks, "Farmer Monotony" has been inundating the co-op with squale (squash & kale) and, frankly, I am sick to death of the two--that is, both the squale and the discourteous farmer. The squale can't spoil fast enough in my crisper. Unfortunately, I arrived "late" (about an hour and fifteen minutes before closing) two weeks in a row so whatever shot at variety I had was long gone, having been swaddled in some early bird's organic, biodegradable, fair trade, cotton tote and gingerly whisked off to some nearby destination. Mind you, the pickup window is 4-ish to 7 pm and I foolishly thought I could arrive by 6 pm to collect my stated shares. Yeah, right. I was met all too often with the heartbreaking statement, "Looks like we're all out of the carrots and beets (note to reader: you may substitute whatever veggie here) so I guess you'll just have to double up on the squash and kale." Are you kidding me? Squale is a very poor choice for a consolation prize. I mean, really, who wants 5 lbs. of squale?

It was 5:45 when I got off the train this evening. Darn the MTA and its slowing moving passengers, I thought to myself. Stand clear of the closing doors. Is that so difficult to comprehend? I knew for sure that I would be "squaled" again. Pass the wire gate, around the perimeter of the mud garden (I guess it's supposed to be grass but it's mostly mud), and to the makeshift reception area, where one is routinely ignored, I went. I scrawled my name across the sign in sheet, clenched my teeth, flexed my muscles, and walked over to the tables. Ding, ding, ding. It was going down. Don't start none, won't be none. I was about to give a good ol' fashioned Bronx beat down to the godforsaken squash but something appeared in my peripheral vision. What is this? Cucumbers, onions, corn, green pepper, basil, fava beans, and baby greens. Whoa, I am first stunned motionless and then spurred into action by the lady with the organic, biodegradable, fair trade, cotton tote making a beeline for the basil. Oh, no she didn't cut the line! Stand back it's about to get ugly, sister. I elbow my way through the fray and throw in a few rib shots for good measure.

I (or a family of 2-3) am entitled to 1 ear of corn, 1 large onion, .75 lbs of fava beans, .25 lbs of basil, 2 peppers, 2 lbs of squash, and, get this, 3.75 lbs of cucumbers. How do you split one ear of corn among three people anyway and what am I going to do with 3.75 pounds of cucumbers (6 very large Cucumis sativus)? And you know what? I know why I've been getting squaled. The lady with the organic, biodegradable, fair trade, cotton tote was taking more than her fair share of basil, peppers, and onions. OMG, and so was another cotton toter! She and her pilfering lot swoop down like ravenous vultures and make off with other members' shares. Stealthily, the produce is first swaddled in organic fabric and then gingerly whisked off to some nearby destination. Perhaps they are all members of some secret society of purloiners. Maybe I'll make a cucumber face mask before too many of them spoil in the crisper.

Hey, at least I didn't get squaled this time...

What is a CSA?

What is a CSA? The acronym CSA stands for community-supported agriculture. It is a system whereby locally grown produce is sold to members of the group through shares.

The USDA definition of a CSA is,

"In basic terms, CSA consists of a community of individuals who pledge support to a farm operation so that the farmland becomes, either legally or spiritually, the community's farm, with the growers and consumers providing mutual support and sharing the risks and benefits of food production. Typically, members or "share-holders" of the farm or garden pledge in advance to cover the anticipated costs of the farm operation and farmer's salary. In return, they receive shares in the farm's bounty throughout the growing season, as well as satisfaction gained from reconnecting to the land and participating directly in food production. Members also share in the risks of farming, including poor harvests due to unfavorable weather or pests. By direct sales to community members, who have provided the farmer with working capital in advance, growers receive better prices for their crops, gain some financial security, and are relieved of much of the burden of marketing."

Who runs the CSA? Usually, the organization is run by the farmers, CSA members, and sponsoring organizations, if applicable.

What are some of the benefits of joining a CSA? Since the food is locally grown, it decreases the emissions of greenhouse gases. (Locally grown refers to the buying and eating of food that has been grown, manufactured, or produced entirely within a 100 mile radius of the residence of the individual who will be consuming the food. Please see The 100-Mile Diet for further details.) Because the produce is not flown in from overseas or trucked in from other parts of the country, less fuel is used. Less fuel = lower emissions. Lower emissions = better air quality.

Another plus is that the veggies arrive au natural--that is, no polyvinyl chloride (PVC) or expanded rigid polystyrene plastics are used for packaging (for the layman, this means no shrink wrap and Styrofoam). Since PVC and polystyrene-derived products will not break down into organic material in your or my lifetime, they will continue to contribute significantly to our solid waste problem. Reducing solid waste is ALWAYS a good thing.

Additionally, members receive a variety of veggies weekly and are exposed to produce they might not otherwise try.

Lastly, and in my opinion most importantly, membership supports our farmers who are being forced into debt through government subsidies. Please read The Omnivore's Dilemma for the lowdown.

This sounds like an eco-friendly and socially responsible idea, so why do I hate my CSA? Firstly, as a practicing locavore, the produce does not meet my definition for locally grown since the farm is 196.23 miles away. There are quite a few organic farms much closer than ~200 miles away. (Shamefully insert contradictory statement here: The flesh is weak; thus, I still enjoy the occasional mango, avocado, and plantain. What can I say? I am of Caribbean descent and sometimes I fall victim to my fond childhood memories.)

Secondly, it is hands down the singly most disorganized group to which I belong and for which I am an active participant. This is my first year as a member, and most likely my last.

In the coming season, I will outline my weekly disappointments. By no means do I wish to discourage anyone from joining a CSA. To the contrary, I simply want to demonstrate how a CSA should NOT be managed. For more information about CSAs in your NYC 'hood, please visit Just Food. Outside of the NYC area, please see the Local Harvest website.