Alas in Wonderland

I was sprung from the job earlier than usual this Thursday because of our company picnic. Having arrived in the Bronx at a quarter to five afforded me the opportunity to pick up my share earlier than usual. I dropped my work gear off and headed to the pickup site. Not too muddy today; however, someone “planted” several varieties of plastic flowers in the mud garden. Nice. Whatever, I was really too tired to care. I am surprised I even noticed the faux foliage since I was exhibiting a mild case of heat stroke—agitation, high body temperature, disorientation, and rapid pulse—from all of that company picnic “fun”.

Anywho, the truck must have been late because some of the veggies were still cool to the touch. Wow, not bad at all I thought to myself. Most of the stuff looks pretty fresh unlike the limp, bruised, and battered produce that is usually available. Maybe Farmer Monotony packed the crates better. As I was weighing out some cukes, one of the co-op leaders began picking through the veggies and sorting out the beat-up ones. The leader then signaled a minion and instructed the cohort to organize "the others’" shares. Without delay, the underling joined the vetting process, separating the comeliest of the lot. The leader reeled off a list of about 6 families, obviously all part of the CSA Illuminati, for which the subordinate was to pack the shares. And only the flawless of the species were to be bagged. Who does this guy think he is? The Food Führer? What next? Blonde-hued squash are deemed acceptable, whilst the fate of the dark green ones is unknown? It is not my intention to offend anyone by my possibly poor choice of analogy, but I thought that this behavior was not only unjust, but downright sickening. Only the best for the elite. And for the rest? The commoners. Let them eat cake!

If the CSA elite are too lazy to drag their butts to the site, then they should receive the dregs. First come, first served. Period. After watching the duo, it also became clear to me that the CSA Illuminati have dual membership. They are both part of the Illuminati and the secret society of purloiners. An extra perfect pepper here. An additional unblemished carrot there. What have I gotten myself into? What is wrong with these people? Oh, why did I follow the white rabbit?

BTW, a good portion of last week's cucumbers grew fuzzy in the crisper. As for the squash, I was able to save some and made a squash torte courtesy of Des' Home Ec-O blog. She's got some pretty awesome recipes...tell her I sent you.